You grabbed my hand and your soft skin pressed against mine. I see your lip quiver, so I know you are nervous, but the good kind. I have missed you. Finding someone who catches you off guard and completes you felt nearly impossible. When we first met it truly never crossed my mind that you were who I was waiting for. This relationship took time, it happened naturally. The understanding and curiosity grew on its own. The outside attraction was not a part of how the love started for me. It is now a part of what I dream about because looking at you never got old. I saw you from the inside out. I know that when you had big emotions it never felt big to me. It never interfered with my energy. I was so comfortable around you when we had not even started to truly get to know each other. Our interactions were short, I listened to your stories, your struggles, your wishes and desirers. All while being a bystander. Your self worth had highs and lows. You sought out what you thought you needed to stay comfortable. I desired to hear the deep stories that were being shared with another, but I waited unknowing that timing was a real thing. Our paths kept crossing spending more and more time together. You fit right in with my family, nothing felt pressured or fast. It felt complete. One night we locked eyes, and something drew me in. Maybe you had been planning this but for me I was drawn to you in a way I never felt. The moment our lips touched everything around me was gone. Our energy became one, my body began to open up in ways I only wished a man could have brought me to. I didn’t want to stop, but I wanted to look at you. As we separated our faces I could feel your eyes looking into my soul, your fluttering breath I could feel on my lips. I ran my fingers around the back of your head and pulled you in, I never wanted it to end. Every time we saw each other the intensity grew. You filled my head daily and my whole self waited on you. Life with you became something that I felt instantly. The accommodations we both would make to create comfort for the other. The adventures we would have, the dirt in our nails as we produced food that our family would eat. The small reminders we would send letting the other person know we were there. Life with you was easy to see. The last time I saw you I thought we had made a decision that was right for us both. But the timing was wrong, the connection I had felt was not ready to begin. Going on without you makes me feel incomplete. Not in a I need you to feel whole, but when I’m with you the pieces I have dropped you are holding them with love until I can put them back together.
So it may have been the last time I get to see you, but know that my soul felt you, and will miss you forever. Time keeps moving forward, and that’s the only direction we can go. Maybe someday we will find eachother when timing is not a factor. Always and Forever