How do you begin to forgive yourself. Forgiveness was always something I gave other people but never myself. How do I even begin to forgive me. Why is forgiveness so hard for me to accept. Well shit it’s even hard for me to accept when other people show me forgiveness. I can forgive anyone but me. I don’t remember much about my life. I remember more trauma than moments of pleasure or happiness. I know that in order to release what has built up I need to feel a pain so intense it takes me out of the moment I’m in. I need to be forced to let it go. How do I learn to let it go through compassion and understanding. How do I give to myself what I so easily give to others. I have began to give myself grace. Well I say it out loud but I’m not sure I believe it. I’m also not a perfectionist well I don’t act like one. But why don’t I deserve to truly forgive myself when I make a mistake, or say the wrong thing, or speak negatively to myself. Why have I turned punishment into pleasure.
Is making love a deep connection with another soul that you have opened a part of you that can only be released through intimacy. Deep passionate, loving, caring, kind, understanding, connection. Where the trust is felt throughout that it leaves no questions in your mind. How do I develop a deep love and connection for myself. One that allows me to forgive myself show understanding and care. In order to be loved you must love your true self. I have not felt her since birth. She is now reborn and learning all over. How to hold myself, love my self, believe in myself to forgive myself. Doing what you do for others to yourself has been made to feel greedy or selfish. Giving to others is allowing others to make a judgment on how they view you based on what you give them. But how do you view yourself if you’re not offering that same compassion to you. wheat seems selfish to me is the bare minimum others give themselves. If god or the universe or Mother Nature or life can forgive then I can forgive myself too. I will begin one action at a time. I will create new patterns and habits. It’s not selfishness it’s kindness towards myself forgiveness for me!